POST NATAL DEPRESSION AFTER INFERTILITY

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I wrote the foreword to a book called From Fertility Success to Postpartum Mess. It highlights a painful truth: women who go through infertility are expected to feel only gratitude and joy after the birth of their baby. They are not expected to complain, even when they are exhausted, anxious, or overwhelmed.

This silence makes postnatal depression even harder to acknowledge. Yet PND remains one of the most underdiagnosed mental health conditions — and one that can be managed effectively with the right support.

Infertility survivors are expected to feel grateful, not broken. But postnatal depression is real — and treatable.

When people hear the terms post-partum or postnatal depression, they often imagine extreme scenarios — mothers harming their babies or failing to bond — but this is not what PND usually looks like. The stigma attached to PND is powerful, implying weakness, failure, or an inability to cope, which silences many mothers. In practice, most of the women I see present first with anxiety — persistent worry, hypervigilance, racing thoughts — which, over time, can generalise into depression. PND typically emerges from around week three, once the initial hormonal shifts and “baby blues” have passed, the baby becomes more alert, and sleep deprivation accumulates. Lack of sleep is not benign; it profoundly affects mood, cognition, and emotional regulation, lowering tolerance and increasing anxiety, which can later give way to depression. Bonding difficulties do not mean a lack of love — it is possible to love deeply while struggling to feel connected to a crying, unsettled, or colicky baby when you are exhausted and overwhelmed. It is also essential to distinguish PND from postnatal psychosis, which is rare (around 1 in 500 births) and severe, placing both mother and baby at risk. PND, by contrast, is common, frequently underdiagnosed, and highly treatable. I wrote the foreword to From Fertility Success to Postpartum Mess to highlight an added layer of silence for women who have experienced infertility — who are expected to feel only gratitude and joy after birth, leaving no space to speak honestly about distress. Anxiety and depression are not failures of motherhood; they are signals that support is needed — and when recognised early, both can be managed effectively, allowing mothers to recover, reconnect, and find their footing again.

This won’t be an antenatal class.
It is not a baby-and-me group.
It is more than that.

It’s a space to prepare emotionally for pregnancy, birth, and parenthood.
A place to ask the hard questions, to identify your values, to learn coping skills for the overwhelming moments, and to discover you are not alone.

Because parenting isn’t just about a birth plan or baby milestones.

It’s about preparing your mind, your heart, and your relationships for the journey ahead. This is a mental health preparation program for parents, couples, and mothers who want to prepare for the reality of pregnancy and life after birth.

Together, we will:

• Identify your values: Understand the most important reason you want to have a child.
• Face the realities: Learn how to cope with the physical and emotional demands of pregnancy.
• Build practical skills: Develop emotional strategies for birth and the weeks to follow.

Parenting becomes more predictable — and less overwhelming — when you have the right tools. And doing this with others makes it even more powerful.

Following birth, you’ll have the option to join a therapeutic support group designed for new mothers. These groups offer connection, community, and shared experience — because sometimes the highlight of a week can be a simple outing to the paediatrician, where you don’t feel alone.

Most importantly, these courses remind you: you are not alone.

Courses will commence in the new year depending on demand.